I am having trouble writing lately. Nothing comes to mind, or if it does, it seems too silly of a thing to write about. Perhaps it’s because I am not really a writer, just someone
I am having trouble writing lately. Nothing comes to mind, or if it does, it seems too silly of a thing to write about. Perhaps it’s because I am not really a writer, just someone trying her hand at something new. I had never thought of myself as someone who had the chops for writing anyway. I just saw it as an untouchable field. You know? Like when something is too off the wall for you to even consider? Like being a celebrity or something. Ummm, yeah right! I don’t think so! In fact, I can only think of one time where I seriously tried picturing myself as a writer.
I was watching this movie and the lead actress, who is a playwright, had fallen in love with an unsuspecting man. I am not trying to advertise the movie here, but in the scene she was writing a screenplay of their humorous ups and downs together, and how it fell apart. While writing she became totally distraught. She was laughing, screaming, and crying all in a moment. I remember thinking that it was both beautiful and sad, and how great it would be to be that in touch with your emotions. I guess I must’ve quickly dismissed the thought though since it’s totally out there for me.
The fact that I am blogging has left many friends and family puzzled, but I guess the shock was to be expected. This is a bit out there for me to be doing, and like I’ve said before in another post, I am having such a hard time Opening Up about it. I’ve been so anxious that I’ve been nervously pacing the floor whenever I post something or leave a comment. Interestingly enough, the people that I have talked to have been so supportive, total strangers even. It’s starting to offer me a new perspective. I should at least keep doing it for this feeling of satisfaction.
Regardless of my own negative feelings about being so open, I want to conquer this fear that I now have. I think that when you find that you can no longer do most things you set out to do without major difficulty or not at all, you start to fear failure. Instead of being fearful and feeling like a failure, I need to accept and embrace the changes that are happening. I want to step outside of my comfort zone.
If you’re reading this, YOU are helping me do it! So, let me say how grateful I am that you took the time to read the nonsense that is plaguing me today. Thank you!! 🙂