Tuesday Tangent

I’m exhausted. I find myself worrying about how long I will be able to continue this current chapter of my life. I’ve put myself out there and am attempting “normal” life, but I can’t help

I’m exhausted. I find myself worrying about how long I will be able to continue this current chapter of my life. I’ve put myself out there and am attempting “normal” life, but I can’t help but feel like I’m starting to fail. Again. Is this my fate? Who says?

Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash

It’s always the same thing with me it seems. I have no problem accepting that I have these chronic illnesses, but I struggle with accepting the impact they have on my life. They take and take from you and the only thing they return is heartbreak. It’s An Unforgiving Relationship, and well, I want a better deal.

I want to defy what is set for me. I am doing it right now. I’m doing what I thought I could never do again. It’s not perfect, in fact it’s downright difficult and messy, but I feel accomplished. I’m learning to make my own rules when it comes to my life. I don’t fit into any box and I certainly am not going to try to mold myself to make for an easy fit.

I’ve come a long way from where I once was and I have to acknowledge my progress. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be really bad days filled with tears, or that there won’t be amazing days with huge smiles and maybe some happy tears. What I know is that a really bad day can turn into your most accomplished day. Yes, I’m struggling, but even through the pain and suffering I can find the joy.

Photo by Preslie Hirsch on Unsplash

3 thoughts on “Tuesday Tangent

  1. You will do what you need to. You must take care of yourself. No, getting a chronic illness is not punishment… it just happened, our human body is fallible. No one makes the rule but you. You are in my thoughts, sending you peace and clarity. x

    1. I am listening to my body, but I don’t like what it has to say, Lol! I just had to rant about it. Thanks for your support Kim! 😊

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